Lately I've been having a really hard time trying to get back to being motivated to workout and eat healthy. For the last two years I've been riding this emotional roller coaster when it comes to food. Well, that's not exactly true. I've been riding food driven roller coaster for as long as I can remember. When I was in middle school I started playing around with anorexia some. I never became full blown anorexic because there was no way my mom would have allowed that. In high school, I still dabbed back and forth with not eating and eating as little as possible without drawing too much attention to myself. I discover that after not eating for three days straight, I no longer felt hungry. And the only thing I would drink was Diet Coke. I didn't want any calories from beverages at all. Fortunately for me at the time, I never fully commit to anything and my mom always kept the kitchen stocked with Little Debbies and Pringles that were hard to pass up.
Fast forward to two years ago my boyfriend and I started our first round of P90X. My boyfriend was convinced that because we were working out so hard that it wouldn't matter what we ate because we would burn it off anyway. Well after 91 days we were stronger but visually our bodies really didn't look that much different. This has lead to the crazy food roller coaster I've been on the last two years. I've tried counting calories with myfitnesspal.com, which really turned me into a crazy person. For my size and weight I should only be consuming approximately 1,300 calories a day. I tried to follow Jamie Eason's food suggestions for carb cycling. Carb cycling is not for the weak hearted! I was always going over on my carbs and sugar. Who knew carrots have sugar? Not this gal. By the way if you are looking for a great workout program check out Jamie Eason's Live Fit program, it includes daily workouts, meal plans and FREE!
I will start to be on a good roll of working out daily and eating right but it always ends in the same frustrations! My biggest frustration is food choices in my area. There are NO healthy food choices in my area. And most people in my area wouldn't have it any other way. Eating junky food is a must for them. In fact we get made fun of at work a lot for trying to eat healthier. I don't know why eating my natural foods makes us freaks but it does. When it comes to needing a quick meal or eating out with friends sometimes it stresses me out so bad to try to decide the lesser of all evils I decide to not eat at all. Other times when we are eating out with friends, I take on the attitude I don't care about calories or fat, I'm gonna eat whatever I want. Which is definitely no damn good. I should care about myself enough to take care of myself no matter the circumstances. My other main frustration and biggest obstacle is work. I work a physically demanding job 12.5 hours a day, 3 consecutive days in a row. I used to think 4 days off a week, that's awesome. But now I am truly sick and tired of working this schedule. By the time I get home from work it is almost time to go to bed. There is just not enough time on the days I work to come home workout, eat and get enough sleep. Even if I just came home and went straight to sleep, I still would not be getting enough sleep. Something is gonna have to give because until I am off this particular work schedule I will probably never get off this roller coaster I am constantly riding.
For the last couple of weeks I've been dying for some motivation to get back to eating healthy and working out all the time. But it's extremely hard without any support. My boyfriend is not a good motivator. It's just not in him. And I don't have any friends or family who have any desire to live a healthier life. So I just feel completely alone and really a little bit depressed. So I decided to start a blog. I don't have any hopes for anyone to read it but I thought it might help motivate me.
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